Family Argument
A man was walking through the grounds of a university one morning when he noticed a young blind woman struggling with her Guide-Dog. The animal was resolutely pulling in one direction, she in another.
When he offered assistance, the woman replied, "No thanks, this is a family argument. The dog knows I'm supposed to go to a lecture right now -- but I want to miss it."
Source: http://www.laughandlift.com/
Showing posts with label quick jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label quick jokes. Show all posts
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Jokes | A Little Girls' Prayer | Quick Jokes
A Little Girls' Prayer
A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?"
"I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.
"Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"
source: http://www.laughandlift.com/
A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?"
"I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.
"Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"
source: http://www.laughandlift.com/
Jokes | Rich Woman | Quick Jokes
Rich Woman
A woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond rings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex."
"But you are not wearing any of those things," he replied.
"I know," she said. "It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelery."
Source: http://www.laughandlift.com/
A woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond rings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex."
"But you are not wearing any of those things," he replied.
"I know," she said. "It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelery."
Source: http://www.laughandlift.com/
Jokes | Beauty Make-Over | Quick Jokes
Beauty Make-Over
In dire need of a beauty make-over, I went to my salon with a fashion magazine photo of a gorgeous, young, lustrous-haired model. I showed the stylist the trendy new cut I wanted and settled into the chair as he began humming a catchy tune and got to work on my thin, graying hair.
I was delighted by his cheerful attitude until I recognized the melody. It was the theme from "Mission: Impossible."
Source: http://www.laughandlift.com/
In dire need of a beauty make-over, I went to my salon with a fashion magazine photo of a gorgeous, young, lustrous-haired model. I showed the stylist the trendy new cut I wanted and settled into the chair as he began humming a catchy tune and got to work on my thin, graying hair.
I was delighted by his cheerful attitude until I recognized the melody. It was the theme from "Mission: Impossible."
Source: http://www.laughandlift.com/
Jokes | How To Make Babies | Quick Jokes
Making Babies
A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, Guess what? We learned how to make babies today."
The mother, more than a little surprised, asked fearfully, "That's interesting. How do you make babies?"
"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
Source: http://www.laughandlift.com/
A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, Guess what? We learned how to make babies today."
The mother, more than a little surprised, asked fearfully, "That's interesting. How do you make babies?"
"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
Source: http://www.laughandlift.com/
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